My HG Story

This isn't really a great place to share this but I wanted to write down my HG story, to share some of what it's been like for me over the last 9 months. It's quite long but I felt that there's nothing in there that can be missed out. This story isn't for sympathy but to raise awareness, both of what I've been through but also what HG can do to people. My story isn't, my any means, the worst I've heard, it can be SO much worse. 

Our pregnancy was completely planned, we had decorated the nursery, bought the pram and I had worked out what finance would be available to me and what I would do with my various contracts as I was self employed. Everything was as organised as it could be and we were just waiting for that positive test until the joy and excitement of pregnancy began. We were so eager for that step, to become a family. Little did we know what was coming.

In September we got that positive line and we couldn’t have been happier. We told our families straight away but, like most people, decided to wait until 12 weeks before really announcing it, just in case. I knew about morning sickness, of course, and had already said I was going to work through everything. I didn’t want to wrap myself in cotton wool and I very much felt I should just be able to get on with things until around April (a month before due date) when I would take maternity leave. By week 6, everything had to change. I had been getting gradually more and more nauseous until I started vomiting. I thought it was normal so didn’t seek any help until, after vomiting for 24 hours non stop keeping nothing down, my husband insisted on getting some help for me. By the time I saw the GP I hadn’t even managed a sip of water in 48 hours. He gave me some anti sickness meds and said if I wasn’t better by morning I had to go to hospital. I wasn’t. Friday 5^th October I was sent to hospital and diagnosed as having Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I was shocked to discover that what I experienced wasn’t normal, not even close, that I had severe sickness. This was to be the start of a long and difficult journey.

I decided to cancel all my work for the following week, thinking this would give me plenty of time to get back on my feet, and went home thinking that the meds would be the cure and I would be fine within no time. But a week later and I wasn’t feeling better and 2 weeks later I ended up in hospital again needing more fluids (at 10 weeks pregnant).  From this point on I was constantly seeing medical professionals and begging for help, I was being passed around the people and being told there was nothing they could do. Meanwhile I was stuck at home, in bed, completely unable to do anything. I felt nauseous all the time and doing anything, moving, would make things so much worse. I was terrified of ending up in hospital again. My husband took all the burden of looking after me.  Food was prepared for me to help myself to and my husband rang me twice a day to check up on me. My mum started coming down once a week to keep me company and do some jobs around the house for us. This continued until I had our daughter.

Throughout the pregnancy I was determined to not blame the baby and really struggled mentally with what I was going through. I remember the second time I was admitted to hospital (10weeks) thinking “why am I going through all this? What’s it for?” and thinking about just ending it all. That visit to hospital I was given an early scan, to check it wasn’t twins, but that scan really helped hold me together for a few days and see a positive. Each scan had a really positive effect on me and pulled me up from my dark place, physically showed me that something was happening and it wasn’t just about the constant, never ending sickness. Through those early days I held on to the images of holding a baby afterwards, I surrounded myself in little clothes and imagined someone wearing them. We found out that we were having a little girl at 20 weeks and so named her. I made a conscious effort to always call the bump her and by name, remember that she was real and what we always wanted.

The pregnancy felt never ending for me, I was at home on the sofa or in bed all the time. I felt completely isolated and I also felt that I had no friends supporting me. I was asked by medical professionals whether I had people coming and visiting, I would answer that my mum did as if that was enough but really, apart from that I had very few visits and felt really lonely.

By 30 weeks I had well and truly had enough, I was treading water and I could no longer remember why I was doing it. People kept telling me it will all be worth it but she was my first, how did I KNOW she was worth it, how did anyone know how I would feel. I began to think that people were avoiding me, that they really couldn’t be bothered with how I was feeling even though I made an effort not to moan about it. I tried to hide how I was feeling to most people and most people told me how well I was looking, even though I felt awful inside. I was treading water and I knew I was gradually sinking. I was really desperate to have the pregnancy over but I knew that I had to get to the magic 37 week number. I felt so guilty that I was jealous of those that were having premature babies as I just wanted her out. I tried going to the GP about how I was feeling, but apparently I left it too late, as by the time I spoke to them it was too late for me to go on waiting lists and very little could be done. I was referred for an assessment but the nurse I spoke to didn’t really understand how pregnancy makes people feel, she told me that she would expect me to feel the way I did, but this didn’t help me to cope with it. She didn’t understand that I felt no bond with my baby and that I just wanted it over. She told me to just hold on “it’s not long now”, why do people think that makes everything better? If someone has flu and they are stuck in bed they say that a few days feels like forever, so imagine that you’ve had that for months on end and that you still have a or 2 month left, does that make you feel better? No it makes you even more depressed about how much longer is left to go.

I was told that at my 38 week appointment with the consultant we discuss the option of induction. I was holding on, by my fingernails, to that knowledge that I would get a date. That it would all be over soon and I would be on the next phase of my life, I would make new friends be able to get out the door and not be so lonely. I had been anxiously listening to midwifes telling me the baby was engaging and heading down, wishing for any signs she might be coming early and really just waiting for that appointment. When I got there the consultant point blank refused to talk about it. He wouldn’t listen to me when I said I was depressed and that it was getting worse the longer I waited. He listened to the heartbeat and I felt nothing at all, it was just a noise and it just didn’t mean anything to me. In the past I felt some joy and made me smile. I think he realised that I wasn’t reacting at all but he just said there was nothing he could do and he would set an induction date with me at my next appointment in 2 weeks’ time, after my due date. Did he not realise that to be told that I wouldn’t have the baby by that date we all count down too and I would then have to wait for a date was the worst thing I could imagine? On the way home from that appointment I completely flipped. I told my husband I didn’t want the baby anymore, I want “it” out and I seriously thought about any means possible to cut it out. I was crying my eyes out and was devastated. Over the rest of that Friday I felt worse and worse, the bump became a parasite and I felt dirty, I felt like I needed to wash and wash, like I had something in me that was eating me up. I couldn’t touch the bump, have anything touch it and every moment she moved just reminded me she was still there “killing me”.  I felt so disgusting and when I did touch the bump I would shake, cry and need to wash. I felt so guilty that I had turned on her with one half of me but the other half, just kept shouting “end it, it’s making you sick and a prisoner in your own home. What are we waiting for? Now now now.”

My poor husband spent the next few days trying to get help for me, it was the weekend so we couldn’t get help. He rang the GP who said to talk to the consultant, who had gone home. He rang a mental health helpline who told him I needed help, to talk to a GP. We rang the out of hours GP who completely didn’t understand and started talking about adoption!! Complete lack of understanding. Eventually after me shouting at him he agreed I needed an appointment, but we never got called back to arrange it. In the end my husband rang the labour ward and they agreed to see me. We went down there and I couldn’t let anyone touch me. They agreed that I should be induced but they couldn’t make the decision and I needed to see a consultant. To cut a long story short I was told to wait till Monday, so I spent the weekend covered up and curled up crying and being watched by my husband. Finally, after mistakes by the hospital and more fighting by my husband and midwife, I saw a doctor on Monday 4pm. She wouldn’t talk about induction until I’d seen a psychiatrist as she thought I was mentally unstable.  The psychiatrist agreed I needed to be induced ASAP but of course they’d all gone home so I had to wait another day. I had an appointment on the Wednesday but I decided I couldn’t hold on any longer. I was still in a bad way and all I could think was what if they said no? I NEEDED it to be over. The way I saw it was that labour was the end and I would be fine once holding my baby.

On Tuesday I finally got the go ahead and it was agreed I would be induced, that day. I couldn’t believe it was finally happening it was all ending. But they were too busy so I was delayed until the evening. Over the next few days I was given drugs to induce me but I was constantly put at the bottom of the list because I had nothing medically wrong with me. I spent hours not knowing what was going on and on monitors. No one took me seriously and considered that I would struggle being strapped to a bed being reminded of the bump constantly. I was still feeling very shaky and the smallest thing would set me over the edge. In the end my mum went and spoke to them and things were better after that. Induction was a long process that my body obviously wasn’t ready for. Tuesday it started and early hours of Saturday I had the baby. Nothing about labour was easy, my little girl got stuck so they used suction to pull her out, along with a cut. I had a temperature and my baby was tachycardic, she had also had some meconium in my waters so I was being closely monitored and not allowed to move or remain active. After they got her out I then bled and lost a lot of blood.

All I wanted was to go home and be able to walk out in the fresh air, but due to those issues we had to stay in hospital for several days. Baby was on antibiotics and was jaundiced so needed a light box. I needed a blood transfusion. For days I felt so guilty that I had caused all of this, if I had been stronger, not needed to be induced maybe she, and I, would have been fine. I caused her pain and her first week was so traumatic. I felt like I’d shown no strength but realistically I know that I showed strength to get through those 9 months, to feel nausea every day since before I even knew I was pregnant, to even go through “normal” labour. I still have to remind myself I’m not weak and none it was my fault. I was told, before pregnant, that I was a natural mother, I feel like nothing about this has proved that. I had an awful pregnancy, an awful labour and the first few weeks haven’t been plain sailing as our little one has a milk allergy so we had her screaming in pain, discomfort and no sleep. Now, 1 month later, I’m still struggling to feel that it was all worth it. Now she has special milk she is a bundle of joy, she has started smiling and is quite responsive. She is a big positive but, at the moment, this big positive isn’t enough to overcome the negatives we’ve had to go through. We are still bonding, I’m still learning that she needs me and no one can replace that. She may be OK with cuddles from others but no one else is her mum, that’s me alone.

HG is an illness, it stole my joyful pregnancy, it stole my labour and it stole my bonding time after baby was born.  It has also stolen any further children we considered having. I’m sure the trauma of it all will fade over time, I won’t feel so raw thinking about it, but the knowledge that it could all happen again would break me. This time the only way I held on so long was due to hope it would get better, I won’t have that next time. On a more practical level HG has also stolen my job (I may have decided to stop but it forced the issue), our savings and the friends I thought I had. It feels like my life stopped on October 5^th, when I first ended up in hospital, and only started again when I finally came home from hospital on May 22^nd. I lost months of my life.

Through all of this I have had the unending support of my husband, he has been a rock. My family have been there for me and my mum has given up so much time to be here for us, try and cheer me up and occupy me. A few friends have remained supportive and visited and rung, I’ve discovered who my real friends are. I have also discovered a really supportive group of new friends who have listened to me and been with me every step of the way. HG gave me some things too and this is the biggest gift of all:

My Gorgeous Mini Manley

A short update: 

The affects of HG have been ongoing. Since having Amelia I have suffered mentally and ended up being diagnosed as depressed. I continued to feel trapped in my own house and didn't really want to get out and about. I felt so much better than when I was pregnant but I didn't really get a chance for my body to recover from 9 months of bed rest. I've also suffered with PTSD and still the thought of pregnancy horrifies me, and not just my own. I have been through months of counselling and general healing to get to the place where I am today. It has been good to move house and have a fresh new start but this story is still very fresh in my mind. I will never have another pregnancy, we can never go through this again. And I still feel like it's a battle to get people to understand and acknowledge this. 

Overall I hope the experience has turned to positive. I can't think of the pregnancy positively but I can now look at what I've gained out of it. Not only have I got the most amazing daughter ever, and oh she is so so so special, but I've also got a new group of friends who have been through the same things. I have gained understanding for others and I hope that I'm also helping others to not have such a bad time through working with the charity. The charity, Pregnancy Sickness Support, is in constant need of money so I'm trying to help fundraise whenever I can too. I would like to emphase that HG is something that effects people for a long long time, not just 12 weeks of pregnancy, not just 9 months but it can take years and years. Some of the effects for me are going to be forever, HG has shaped my family.

Introducing Amelia Katie Manley

On 18th May 2013 at 2.11am we welcome into the world our mini Manley weighing an impressive 7lb13oz. I thought she would be smaller considering I'd been ill but she obviously got all that she needed, which is great. 

It was a long and difficult labour, I was induced early due to sickness so she obviously wasn't ready to come out into the world. Induction started on Tuesday afternoon and by Friday morning we thought we'd have to give in and have an emergency C-Section as my body wasn't responding enough. However, overnight on Thursday my body changed it's mind and on Friday my waters were reachable and broken. The idea is that this starts off contractions, however, again my body had other ideas and refused to respond. It was decided I would have a drip of hormones to speed things up and I spent the day being forced into labour. I very quickly needed an epidural, as expected, as I had no strength left in me after months of sickness. Finally by 12pm I was at the pushing stage but this time Amelia had different ideas and decided to get stuck. By 2am I needed help so with the help of a vorteuse she arrived at 2.11am. 

I had a temperature during labour so Amelia had to be checked very quickly to make sure she was ok. She also had a kind of rasping noise which apparently was a respiratory problem. She was given to Gary for skin to skin contact to see if that helped, unfortunately it didn't so she had to go upstairs and be checked over in the baby unit. Apparently the rasping stopped once she was in the heat but she was given a check over and a dose of antibiotics. She had to continue on the antibiotics for 48 hours meanwhile they checked her bloods. Unfortunately she had an infection marker in her blood that was much higher than normal, this meant that she then had to have a 5 day course of antibiotics instead. They were worried about how high it was and there was talk about a lumbar puncture but fortunately the levels went down and that risk was diverted. From these blood tests, and her colour, it was also determined that she was jaundice so then had to spend around 24 hours in the light box to reduce this. Finally by Tuesday we were told that she was improving and if the blood tests came back ok we would be allowed to go home a little early and miss the final dose of antibiotics, which meant we could go home on Wednesday not Thursday. Wednesday after lunch we were told that everything was fine, all levels were reducing and they were happy for us to leave, hooray!! 

Little Manley

As for me, I was exhausted after 2 hours of trying to push her out. After this I had a bleed, I don't really know what happened but I lost a fair bit of blood and was surrounded by a team of people trying to patch me up and stop it. I was pumped full of drugs to contract my uterus and given a painful massage. It was a bit scary as we didn't really know what was happening but after a while they got it all under control and I was told it was all fine. I threw up after this which really upset me because I thought it would all be over, but we were told it was the drugs. After this I felt pretty awful and out of it and I ended up sleeping for a few hours. When I came to I felt much much better and was in a calmer room with Gary, Mia and my mum. At last I was able to hold her and get a cuddle and find out what had happened to her. After this I felt great, no longer sick and able to eat. I felt tired but thought this was really due to the complete lack of sleep I'd had in the previous week. However, I had iron levels test and it turns out they were very low, I needed to have a blood transfusion of 2 units over the space of 5 hours. Once I'd had this I felt a load better, I couldn't believe there was a better!! At this point I was fit and would have been discharged if Mia was OK. Turns out my iron levels are still low and I'm on iron tablets to bring it up. Now I'm also on antibiotics for a UTI but I basically feel full of energy. 

So how are we now? We are both home and settling into life at home. It's nice to be able to get out and about as well. We've managed a trip to Brighton for some shopping and a trip to the doctors to register. We had a lovely photo session yesterday, in which Mia refused to sleep, but hopefully we got some lovely photos. I'm back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, ok so they were big before but still, I managed an hour or so at the allotment earlier by myself getting lots done. I could have done more but decided to come back home to Amelia and not completely wear myself out. I have a gorgeous daughter, who is mostly very easy. She sleeps through the night just waking up for feeds and settles very easily. Except when the camera is pointing at her! I don't feel sick any more and mentally feel back on track. We are now looking forward to the future together as a family and I'm looking forward to adding lots of lovely bits and pieces to this blog :)

Daddy and MM

An update on us

To break up all of the baking posts a little I thought I'd write a quick update on me and how I've been coping.

I'm now 33 weeks pregnant and counting down the days until Mia is born. She is a fidgety rascal and likes to kick me around but it's comforting that she's moving lots and reminding me she's still there and OK. All her checks have been going without any problems, I'm measuring a little small but within normal range, and her heart beat is always lovely and strong. We have now got the last of her things ready and the nursery is raring to go. Cali (our cat) was discovered in the cot this morning and gave me a look thanking me for making the bed for her yesterday!!

Cali in the new made up cot

Fortunately I anticipated this move and put a blanket over the top so all her fur won't go on the baby blankets. She did exactly the same thing when we made up the moses basket. I think she is very grateful that we've made these comfy beds for her and "her" room is so nicely done now!! 

Some of our reusable nappies arrived last week so we've had a chance to show them off and have a play with them. I was also given a very useful storage basket for them on Saturday which fits perfectly on the shelf.

Nappies in the basket

So we're all set for Amelia's arrival and just waiting now. I don't want her to come just yet, it's a little early, and she's been told she has to wait for Nan and Grandad to come back from their holiday. So let's see if she's a good girl or not!!

So how am I? Well it seems that HG doesn't seem to want to let go its hold over me. For a few weeks in the middle I felt slightly better, I was able to do small things around the house and go out for short trips. However, that's all changed in the last few weeks. I've started feeling very nauseous again and off my food. I haven't, as yet, been sick but I feel so close most mornings that I'm sure it'll happen any day soon. I'm now back to spending my good days on the sofa and my bad days in bed just eating what I can, at the moment that's plenty but it is dropping day by day. I'm very fed up with being so flat bound and I really can't wait for Mia to make her arrival and the nightmare of HG to be over. Before I was pregnant people told me what a joy being pregnant was, well I can say it's been horrid. I've felt nauseous every day since Sept, not been able to work (and no that isn't fun when it's forced on you) and feeling awful all the time. To top it off little Mia has taken to kicking and pushing so for the last few days I've been really uncomfortable as well. 

33 week bump, she's growing!! 

I know that the weather has been awful and spring is yet to arrive but I for one am rather grateful. I feel much less sick when I'm cold and being hot just sets me off. I would rather it wasn't snowing (as it is now!!) but I'm also really glad it's not scorching like last year. Once Mia has arrived though, I'm looking forward to hot sunny days so we can get out and enjoy ourselves. Have picnic lunches with daddy in the park and introduce her to everyone. I feel like my life has been in standstill since November and I'm very much struggling to realise what time of year it is but I'm waiting for the play button to be pushed again. 

I hope you've been enjoying the small amount of baking I have managed to post about, be warned that I'm expecting there to be a flurry of activity and dishes to try out afterwards. I have a pile of magazines and recipes that are waiting to be tested and I'm very restless!! In the meantime enjoy the remainder of the baby shower posts and of course I'll keep you posted on Amelia's arrival. Only 6 weeks 3 days to go till we've reached due date!!
 

Afternoon Tea Baby Shower

For my "baby shower" I decided that I wanted to invite all of the female members of our family over for afternoon tea and some games. I wanted it to be a relaxed environment giving people a chance to catch up and nibble on some good food. 

I've spent time planning and choosing some yummy recipes for the gathering. I knew there'd be loads of food for the number of people but I wanted there to be lots of choice and plenty of each item so should something be more popular there was enough. I hadn't made any of the recipes before, which was part of the fun, so everything was new and exciting. It took 12 hours of baking but we ended up with a great feast of food and I think it was all very nice. I will be making posts of all of the individual baked items over the coming weeks so more detail will follow, however, I'll add in a little teaser that one of the items got 30/30!! 

All the goodies ready to be eaten

To plan and pick all the recipes I did some google searches for afternoon tea recipes, I found that the BBC food website was really helpful and gave me plenty of ideas, in fact, most of the recipes I ended up using came from there and they worked well. 

So let's start at the beginning, my first thoughts went to what savoury items we should include. I wanted a traditional tea so we couldn't have any of the pizza or crisps ideas that my mum suggested!! So we had to think a little harder. Of course sandwiches were essential but what flavours? After some thought we decided to keep it simple and go with some tried and tested fillings:

• Tuna and Sweetcorn
• Ham
• Cheese and tomato
• Smoked salmon and cream cheese

We made all the bread fresh so on Friday, using a bread machine borrowed from my mum, which was baking away producing 3 loaves for us. I cut off the crusts and made them into neat little squares, originally I was thinking of making sticks but this would have resulted in tiny sandwiches so it wasn't worth it. 

Tuna and Sweetcorn

Ham on the left and Salmon on the right

So to go with the sandwiches I wanted a couple of other items. Years ago I remembered making some mini quiches that my mum liked, I didn't still have the recipe and I haven't made them since but I thought they would be a good addition. To go with these we looked through the recipe books and chose parmesan and sunflower biscuits. 

All afternoon teas have to have scones so of course these were a necessity along with some kind of fruity cake. We decided on a a fruit tea loaf which could be neatly sliced up. 

Finally the cakes element of the meal, and this is where we had the most fun, I looked through the lists and my "short" list ended up being quite long :-\ so then came the process of narrowing it all down. I wanted a balance of fruits and chocolate so we didn't have too many similar items but I also wanted things that could be made in bite size pieces. So we finally narrowed it down to:

• Chocolate tarts
• Lemon tarts
• Double Chocolate Loaf Cake
• Bakewell Cheesecake
• Pineapple and Coconut Cupcakes

I hoped this would create a nice mixture of items and have something to suit everyone. 

The food went down very well and I only received nice comments on it all, as I said, I will be writing about each item and marking them all separately with links to the recipes. There was lots of food left over, as expected, so my guests also got to leave with goody bags of their favourite items. Poor Nanna had 2 bags of salmon sandwiches as no one else wanted those!! 

Now a quick diversion off of baking to show some of the other things we also had going on. Last minute this week we decided that some bunting might look nice around the room, so my mum rushed out on Wednesday to try and find some that we could personalise. We ended up with 3!! 

Firstly the fabric bunting, we got a fabric one from Lakeland, which was a lovely mix of colours in checks and strips. To personalise this she purchased some stickers and iron on pictures to put on each flag. She chose some baby designs and some tea party designs along with Mia's name (our expected baby). 

Fabric Bunting in room

She also got some paper bunting as back up but we decided to put these up as well. The first was a flowery design and the second had bears, horses and solid colours to mix it up. 

Flowery Bunting

Bear and Rocking Horse Bunting

These made a nice difference to the room and made it feel a little more partyish!! 

Finally I'll finish with a big thank to my mum, who worked SO hard to make my vision come to life; my husband, who was lumbered with all the cleaning and tidying up; and to my guests who came with wonderful gifts, lots of chatter and provided fun. 

Overall a great day was had, hopefully, by all. :). 

A Taster of the Week to Come

I haven't been able to do much baking recently because the Hyperemesis is still going strong, if anything it's worsened towards the end. However, in the week to come I will be doing a fair bit of baking in preparation for a family gathering under the guise of being a baby shower. I decided to just invite family but it gives all the ladies a chance to get to know each other better and share some chatter and laughter. 

Now I don't want to give too many things away at this stage, a bit of surprise is fun!! but I can give a smaller taster of what is to come. I will be spreading the posts out over a few days/weeks in order to not use all my material at once so you'll have to be patient with news on these ones. 

The plan is to create a traditional afternoon tea like one you'd get at a nice hotel or restaurant. My wonderful mother helped me achieve this look by purchasing some cakes stands for me. Most of these were purchased from BHS in the new year sale with a few additions from Hobbycraft, I believe.

So here is a selection of some of the stands that I got. I've kept this one boxed up for now but his is a lovely 2 tiered cake stand with gingerbread characters on it. 

2 Tiered Cake Stand

This is a larger single cake stand to display the whole cake on

Cream Cake Stand

 Finally this is a 3 tiered basket stand with some butterflies on the outside, this was a hobbycraft purchase. 

Butterfly Stand

We (me and my team of helpers) have organised our online shop to come on Tuesday, it's going to be quite a large shop full of goodies. As with all afternoon teas we are going to create some sandwiches, scones and cakes. No I'm not telling you any more than that but I can safely say that they'll be plenty of food and busy hive of activity here on Friday. 

Thanks to my Mother in Law we now have a table clothe for the table, completing the nice smart look we're going for. 

The rest of the baby shower won't be quite so classy as we have games planned like guess the flavour of baby food, guess my waist measurement and pin the dummy on the baby!! I hope that the reusable nappies will have arrived by then so we can all have a good study of them as well. 

So the countdown begins, this time next week hopefully people will start arriving ready to join in the fun and participate. Hopefully I'll survive the weekend and have some fun. I'll keep you posted... got a flat to clean now ready for my guests!! 

Some baby items

Recently I've got back to my knitting needles and made a few new creations for our mini Manley. Now I know she's a she then I can make more girlie bits and also some smaller bits for the summer months. The first item I decided to make was a cream hoodie to go with her going home outfit, she doesn't really have any outside coats for the early months so a few cardis will come in handy. 

I chose quite a simple pattern in Double Knit wool, so it's not too thick but warm enough.

The selected pattern.

As always I closely followed the pattern and it was a simple design. I made the 5 pieces required. 

Five pieces made and ready to sew together

A close up of the pattern

 These pieces were then sewn together and I used some wooden effect buttons to complete the look. Overall I'm very pleased with this item and it's been packed in the hospital bag ready to be worn by mini Manley on her way home from hospital. 

Finished hoodie

As well as this hoodie, I have also made a little purple cardi that is meant to go with mini Manley's dresses, again the early size. 

The finished product

Again this is a very simple Sirdar pattern and just requires sewing pieces together once completed. The wool is again double knit and designed so it produces this fair isle effect from just one ball of wool. It looks complicated but this is just a basic stocking stitch. 

 I made a small mistake where the buttonhole is concerned so we improvised, my sister crocheted a little chain that I then sewed in making a button hoop. 

Button hoop, a crocheted chain

Overall I'm very pleased with both cardis and am busy working on the next two. One is pretty much finished but requires my sister's magic hands to finish the flowers, the other I only started today. 

Amelia Buns

For Christmas this year my husband and I decided that we need to start our own traditions ready for our first Christmas with our child next year. Last year my mum made some lovely cinnamon buns, however, hubby doesn't like cinnamon, so I set about thinking of alternatives. In the end I decided to adapt a Chelsea bun recipe and name it after our child. I had to wait until we knew whether she was a girl or boy for this so on Monday the buns officially became Amelia Buns. 

I will put the whole recipe on here this time, as it's an adapted recipe, so there are no copyright issues, however I should say that the recipe originally came from the BBC Good Food website and can be found here. 

The recipe basically asks for a sweet bread dough mix to be made, filling to be added and then baked but here are the details. 

Ingredients:

500g Strong White Bread Flour

7g Fast acting dried yeast

1 Egg

300ml Skimmed Milk

40g Sunflower Spread

Filling:

Whatever takes your fancy we used,

Chocolate Spread

Juice of 1 Orange

Dried Mixed Fruit

1. Place the bread in a large mixing bowl and add the dried yeast to the centre of it. 

2. Warm the milk and the spread until the spread has melted and the milk is lukewarm. We did this in a jug in the microwave but it can be done in a small saucepan too. You need to make sure the milk isn't too warm that it kills the yeast but warm enough. I did it so it was warm to touch from the outside of the jug.

3. Tip the milk mix into the flour mix and stir to combine, add the egg. Once it is fairly well combined turn out onto a well floured surface and knead the dough for around 5 minutes, until it becomes stretchy and smooth. We found that quite a bit of flour was needed to achieve this as the dough was very moist. 

4. Place the dough in a well oiled bowl and leave to rise for 1 hour at room temperature, covered with a tea towel, if like us your cat would investigate it!! The dough should double in size. 

5. Tip the dough onto a well floured surface and roll into a  rectangle shape, it should be around 30cm x 20cm but you don't have to be exact. 

Rectangle dough with chocolate spread, this is TOO much!!

6. This is the fun bit, add what ever fillings you want on the dough. We mixed around 1/3 jar of chocolate spread with orange juice and then spread this on and then sprinkled the dried fruits onto until it was well covered. Be careful not to use too much chocolate spread as first time I made these I used 1 whole jar, when cooked it made them very difficult to eat!! 

7. Roll the dough up, like a swiss roll, as tightly as you can holding everything together. Then slice it into 10 even pieces. 

8. Place these, cut side down, onto a baking tin leaving room between each for further expansion. You should be able to see the nice swirl on every bun here. 

Due to excessive filling these are a bit squashed, leave more room between them if you can!!

9. If you wish to make these ahead then place them in the fridge at this point until you're ready for them. First time we made these the night before and left in the fridge overnight, then get them out to reach room temperature before the next step. Otherwise leave them at room temperature to rise for 30 minutes. 

10. Place the buns in the oven at 190oC for around 25mins, until golden brown. 

11. Allow them to cool slightly and then extract them from the tin and enjoy!!  

Bulging out of the tin, the buns hot out the oven

Removed and ready to enjoy!!

 We really enjoyed these buns and they were popular with our family on New Years Day also. They can be adapted to include anything and I'm sure in future years, if Amelia is anything like her father, ours will get stranger and stranger. For now though, we enjoyed these rather tasty chocolatey and messy buns!!

Changing Bag

I recently completed, finally, my changing bag for our due baby. I started this with my mum months ago and have struggled to complete it due to sickness. Last week I finally got it out and sewed up the last few sections to complete it. 

We followed a changing bag pattern, which unfortunately I don't have the details of but mum might be able to help us with that. First step was to choose the fabric, we went to a fantastic shop called Thread Bear, which is by far my favourite crafty shop around. They have an amazing range of craft fabrics and I'm always spoilt for choice. I really wanted something bright and cheerful as bright colours are much more appealing to babies, so we decided to go for a lovely yellow spotty fabric contrasted by a deeper plainer blue. It took us ages to decide but I'm really happy with the combination we've now got. The bag also had a filling, like a quilt, to pad it out a little so this gives it a lovely thickness to it. It also has a solid plastic base which gives it shape and structure. 

Outside view

2 of the pockets plus the solid base

When choosing the pattern I wanted to go for a bag that had plenty of pockets and was also a good size. The one we went for in the end has 3 inner pockets and 4 outer pockets, 2 handles and also a shoulder strap. I wanted it to shut with a zip also so everything was secure inside. 

The other side, elasticated pocket

Outside end pockets

We followed all the details on the pattern and it seemed fairly easy for my mum to understand, she basically told me what to do and I sewed!! Sometimes it seems like what you're doing is really strange but it all comes together beautifully in the end. All the edges are nicely covered by binding and everything is tucked away. 

I'm really pleased with the end product and have already started packing it, I hope you agree that it's lovely and bright and cheerful. It should be useful as well but that remains to be found out once we have the baby!! 

Final overall view!!